Posted in Mickey's Messy Mumblings

The Unwanted Snap

I personally don’t use Snapchat; I have an account, I just don’t see the appeal and the app sucks the life out of my phone before you can blink. Now, Claire and I have a mutual friend; for the sake of of saving face, I’ve decided to give our mutual friend an alias- we’ll call her Jasmine. Jasmine has a Snapchat.

Now, seeing as I’m horribly out of the loop when it comes to snapping and chatting, I’m not sure how this happened, but happen it did. On one unassuming night, Jasmine received a fairly graphic and, quite frankly, plain ugly snap. This is where this post gets somewhat not safe for work.

Jasmine received a rather unflattering picture of a man’s… member.

This was no ordinary schlong dongadoodle, mind you, but one with an impressive length. I’m talking hung like a horse here, folks, and not in a good way. Quite frankly, aside from the shock of simply receiving an unwanted picture of an unknown man’s mayo-shooting hot dog gun, it was nowhere near a flattering pic and quite frankly, I’d rather have seen an actual horse’s single-barreled pump-action meat rifle than this man’s.

Jasmine, of course, sent him a scathing message insulting, not only his dude piston, but his very manhood before promptly blocking him. If Snapchat has a reporting system, then I’m sure Jasmine also reported him.

I’m not privy to the inner workings of a man’s mind, especially this man’s mind, but the hoops his mind had to jump through to reach the conclusion that this was a good idea were many.

So, I will offer a bit of advice to my guys out there: girls don’t want unsolicited pictures of your piss weasel and will happily mock and ridicule you if you do make a poor decision. Save those pictures for when they’re wanted.

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